February 2012
8 posts
Stop Delaying That Big Trip. Stop It. « Thought... →
Always stuffing myself, always choking, always brimming, and overflowing.
hellogoodkarma:
Look at our spool of wool. Look at how tangled, how complicated it is. Look at how many knots have formed, how much patience it must take to disentangle them all. I think many people would have chosen to leave it as that. We are one of them. Look at it, multi-colored along its strings, some parts dyed dark, some as brilliant as the sun. Some parts are fraying, some as tight as...
Things I can do with my angpow money 2.0
dark chocolate maltesers in my weight
10 tubs of ben and jerry/haagen dazs ice cream
jennifer lopez’s live eau de parfum OR vera wang’s princess edp
BATHROBE!! no more running along the corridor in hall in my towel
ipanemas by gisele bundchen (lousy havaianas)
all my favourite dvds in the world
sims 3? hahahaha
kinect!!!! but it sucks cuz i’d have to get the stupid xbox...
An intellectual slant to this space
So this is what has been occupying me lately, and I’d like to say I’m proud of it so far. It’s meant to be a portfolio of 450-word articles exploring issues discussed during the 12 lectures of my environmental sustainability module. One of the graders is some dude from NEA who will offer students with the strongest portfolios a brief internship with NEA - writing articles for...
bookmania:
“The Internet has co-opted the word “browse” for its own purposes, but it’s worth pointing out the difference between browsing in a virtual realm and browsing in the actual world. Depending on the terms entered, an Internet search engine will usually come up with hundreds, thousands, or millions of hits, which a person can then skate through, clicking when she sees something that most...
January 2012
8 posts
Days like these I feel alone because I am alone.
Soyez courageux: Be brave
What I want most out of this year is, God, PLEASE, courage. To be brave in being alone, in trying out new things, in making new friends, in being nice and kind and gracious, in facing setbacks and disappointments and rejections. Most importantly I wish for the courage to dust myself off from the ground and take the first step, because God knows how difficult standing up after a storm can be.
And...
“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope...”
– Neil Gaiman (via hellogoodkarma)
If you love someone you’ll free them, right? But it’s so hard to be brave.
:’( please shoot me?
2012
…May it be better than the last.
December 2011
9 posts
How can you be surrounded by people and feel so alone? I have been so terrified of being alone that it is all I think about… it consumes me. How to satisfy this seemingly insatiable hunger? I have felt so much in the past year; like an over-ripened grape that is about to burst and then what? Skin and mush and juice. How to make my heart stop swelling and my mind, clearer? How to take away...
I don’t like it when people take me for granted and assume that I’ll fetch them home each time we go out. This has been bothering me for some time now but I tried to push it aside because these are my friends after all and some days I really don’t mind giving them a lift home. But I don’t like being expected to do so. Just because I live at the end of the island most assume...
My glass is empty. I don’t know how to fill it and that terrifies me.
TROP BRUYANT: TOO NOISY
I am wearing headphones around the house today. Just headphones, no iPod or music player to be attached to. My neighbour in the unit directly below mine is drilling away, and he has been doing so every day for the past week. It is not the mildly tolerable construction drilling that one is accustomed to but has more the intensity of an earthquake. One would think he is mining for diamonds in the...
Tonight the night passes as a heavy weight. It is the dull sourness in my heart, the lump caught in my throat, the bullet that resides in my flesh. It is also swollen and sore and does not simply go away.
Barcelona it is
vettyboop:
5 Fantasy Exit Strategies
1. Run away to Brooklyn. Rent an apartment with a claw footed bathtub. Commute to Manhattan during the week and put in hours at a menial publishing job. Drive home to New Jersey on weekends to swim in the pool and cry to your mother. Smoke Gauloises on the fire escape. Let yellowing issues of Rolling Stone and Vogue pile into a protective fortress around...
Wild Thing 1: Well, what about loneliness?
Wild Thing 2: What he's saying is, will you keep out all the sadness?
Max: I have a sadness shield that keeps out all the sadness, and it's big enough for all of us.
I guess my new year’s resolution is to try to be a more beautiful person. Then everything else will fall into place I hope.
November 2011
15 posts
You say I’m semangat. I say you lack initiative. No one wins.
so if you want to burn yourself remember that I love you
if you want to cut yourself remember that I love you
if you want to kill yourself remember that I love you
call me up before you’re dead, we can make some plans instead
Noms de plume: Pen-names
Is the human subject always centered? Do we have absolute authority over ourselves? Or perhaps we are always changing, always in a state of flux, taking in and giving out, taking in and giving out
he said i’m the devil, boy
come with me
and we’ll make many storms
he offered me the universe
but inside my heart
is a picture of a girl
“I always wonder why birds choose to stay in the same place when they can fly...”
– Harun Yahya (via adjectival)
Perdu: to be lost
Recently I’ve been able to do a little better by surrounding myself with friends almost every day, but I realise it’s still there, once I’m alone, sinister in the darkened corner of my house. Some days I’m a black canvas, coloured only by the company of friends, and even in the death of the night the paint strokes glimmer within to remind me that I’m not so alone. But...
hellogoodkarma:
I’m on my bed at 4 in the morning, watching a lighting display. Lightning beams shoot into my room in panicked pulses. No rumbles of thunder. No patter of rain. No music accompaniment to this show. I pull the lids over my eyes. I pull the curtains. I still see these white lasers, bold streaks in such cold darkness. Flash. A memory of you. Flash. Of us. Flash. An embarrassing...
I second that
edoppelganger:
“In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people’s home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your...
Intensely sad, hollow, desperately, with a surge, quiet.
This is how I miss the warmth of your arms on this cold night.
October 2011
20 posts
Pleuvoir: to rain
It swims within me like a fish. Some days it remains still in the watery depths, quiet and undisturbed. Then there are nights when it surfaces, inexplicably and tumultuously, above the waters, and the misery and I become one, gasping for air.
It is with immense pleasure that I tell myself that I am free - to hop, and skip, and jump off my balcony if I wish. To buy a doughnut if I want to, to speed down an empty highway. To spend hours watching my tv (how I’ve missed you..), to listen to the yeahyeahyeahs, to ignore you.. or to ask you out for coffee. But I am free only within the premise of things whose consequences I choose to...
I don’t wear heels. It’s only when I wear my denim shorts and baggy tanks and my trusty flats do I feel like I can do whatever I want. Before I had my van I used to decide what to wear based on how convenient they are in allowing me to run after the bus hahaha.
I guess I’m only trying to convince myself that I really do not give a fuck.
dehnail:
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar And proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students, if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar...
if-fatedecrees:
“ But why do we hate her so? Is it just because she once had sex with him, once kissed him, once rested her head on his chest the way we do? That can’t be it. Is it because she gave once him hickies all over his neck like some kind of white trash suckerfish? Is it because she forced him to wear that sweater that made him look like a pretentious, hipster Mr. Rogers? Maybe, but...
Mieux: better
Today has been fine so far, except for the terrible, terrible weather (oh my gawwwwwd I’m gunna melt). I had tomato juice when I woke up, as part of a new healthy lifestyle I’m trying to align myself to, and then off to piano which was quite fun because I got to finally practise the duet with Krystal, and then we met Grace whose lesson was after mine, and so we all went to...
